Confessions of a Recruiter: Tales from the frontline (and the Inbox)

So, buckle up and join us as we take a cheeky peek at the wild, weird, and downright wonderful world of recruitment. Warning: may contain actual laughter.

 
1. “Sorry, my cat applied by mistake…”
Yes, this actually happened. A CV came through with a cover letter that read: “Meow, I’d like to apply for the role of Chief Napping Officer.” Turns out, someone's feline friend had walked across their keyboard and clicked ‘apply’. We didn’t shortlist her. But we were tempted.

 
2. Interview… attire?
We’ve seen it all. A three-piece suit in a sauna of a July. A hoodie that read “I paused my game for this.” And once, a chap turned up in a full pirate costume. Yes, hat and all. To be fair, he did say he was “plundering for new opportunities.”

 
3. The vanishing candidate
You line everything up. Interview’s set. The manager’s prepped. You’re mentally preparing your celebratory brew. And then… poof. The candidate ghosts harder than your gym membership after January. Gone. No trace. Did they ever exist? Are we recruiters… paranormal investigators now?

 
4. Name blunders
Recruitment rule #1: always triple-check names. We've seen CVs addressed to the wrong agency, hiring managers called “Mate,” and one unforgettable candidate who called the client “Mum.” (Still got the job. Go figure.)

 
5. “Just popping to the loo…”
We once had a candidate do a full video interview from the bathroom. Yes. Toilet in frame. Trousers at half-mast. Enthusiastically discussing their ‘people skills’. It was… a lot. Let’s just say we flushed that application.

 
6. The oversharer
“So tell me about yourself.” A simple enough question, right? Well, not when it leads to a 15-minute monologue about your cousin’s divorce, your thoughts on soup, and why you think pigeons are government spies. Fascinating, sure. Relevant? Debatable.

 
7. The recruiter oops
We’re not immune either. We’ve sent emails with the wrong name (hi Dave... I mean Karen), scheduled two candidates for the same interview slot, and once replied to a CV with “Nice!” instead of the full response. Hey, we’re only human. Slightly frazzled, heavily caffeinated humans.

 
In summary?

Recruitment is a beautiful mess of personalities, plot twists and priceless moments. It's why we love it. Because behind every bizarre application, oddball interview, or last-minute job offer… there’s a real story. A real person. And a recruiter (probably us) doing a victory dance when it all comes together.

So, to our fellow recruiters out there – keep laughing, keep hustling, and always double-check where your webcam is pointing.